'What Happened to You?' - When You're Left Wondering About People Who Experience Trauma

I was destined to be a successful medicinal scientist, and in my relatively short career, I made a name for myself in laboratory research. Unlike many jobs, mine never left me bored or wishing I were doing something else; working in pharmaceutical biochemistry was both well-paying and inspiring, making me eager to get up each morning. 

My commute took 3–4 city buses, while Daniel, who worked around the corner from Western Geophysical, insisted on using my car—yes, my car—every day. He’d been in a car accident before we met, and back when he was still working offshore, I let him use my vehicle during the two weeks he was home. 

Once I became a working professional, though, his behavior changed, becoming intimidating and manipulative. He complained constantly to get his way, and his ideas were often so illogical that it was hard to go along with his demands. If he hadn’t been so physically large and heavy, I might have tried to sit him down to discuss my concerns, but he was too self-absorbed to have a meaningful conversation about anyone but himself.

His belligerence and brute strength made him even more intimidating, and he often tried to provoke arguments just to get what he wanted. When he lost control of his emotions, I simply ignored him because he seemed ridiculous. Boy did that make him angry. 

Yet, according to Daniel’s version of my work history, it was exactly what I should have been doing all along—just without the money. He even told me that if I ever wanted children, I’d have to give up the years I’d invested in my education, my career goals, and the most lucrative working years of my life.

I eventually forfeited everything I had worked so hard for in my career to remain home and have a family. When my innocent little daughter was 9 years old, her brother 12 and my eldest son was 16, Daniel was finally going to be held accountable for 1 of the 32 incidences of domestic violence reported to police during the 30+ years of my servitude. The DA had him arrested for committing acts of criminal domestic violence against me.  Unfortunately, when they released him from jail, Daniel kidnapped my beloveds and sequestered them and ruthlessly abused them to spite me, just to ensure me that, without him, our lives would never ever be the same again.  To me the following video probably summed up his version of my Total Quality of Life Experience.